According to http://www.merriam-webster.com, ASHAMED means:
a: feeling shame, guilt, or disgrace
b: feeling inferior or unworthy
I am lost for words. I just could not sum up how I feel at the moment. Been thinking things through back and fourth on what I could have done to make things right or could I have prevented all this chaos, I ask myself. To have your good friends fall apart right in front of you is the biggest nightmare anyone could ever have. It's almost like having someone died.
I am ashamed of myself because I feel that there is nothing that I can do anymore. I feel unworthy of being their friend. I am in the middle of it all. It's all a mess. It's heart breaking, and it's killing me slowly as I see the possibilities of having all of it go away. It is not one persons fault. No one is to be blamed because if I start pointing fingers then I would not be fair. It is no ones fault because when you are FRIENDS, no Pride is too much and no Anger is Unforgivable.
You give chances over and over again. You understand over and over again. Because you love them. Because they are your friends.Well, that's how it is when you are friends, that is basically the general rule.
It's just a shame to witness the ending of such. Hopeless to say anything. Ashamed to witness one downfall.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
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